The employee being hit on? (Sorry couldnt resist), Thanks for that inspiring story; your friend is a smooth operator! If only 1% of the population are creeps and you have 200 people come into your store each day, that means that you need to deal with 2 creeps every single day. You can't pressure a woman into being attracted to you. You need to determine if hes being friendly because its his job, because hes naturally flirty, or because hes actually interested in you. Only he didnt stop asking me out. Remember where you are sexy flirty behaviour leads to confusion where he isnt sure if he understood, its so out of context. For me, this was the least offensive way someone ever 'shopped' for me, because due to professionalism I could just ignore it. 4 Remember customers' preferences. It sounds to me like OP is being very conscientious about the situation. While I've known this girl she has blocked or otherwise shut out countless guys trying the same thing and that could easily have been me as well. Have you had a conversation about anything that isn't related to their work? If you ever want a tutorial in why this is a Very Bad Idea, go ahead and read the Craigslist Missed Encounters section, particularly the men-for-women. I never watch the show. If youre looking to get your hands on the Man Catcher in Castle Crashers, then youre in luck! As a former retail manager I am ok with my employees going on dates with customers as long as the customer is the one who did the asking. Either she's attracted to you, and you create the circumstances where things will happen, or she is not attracted, and you move on. You have some power (even implied power) over a cashier with your ability to complain and get them reprimanded, or even because she'll be forced to be nice to you during her shifts even after rejecting you should it come to that. is it unprofessional to get a tattoo on a work trip? The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Or if she can recommend some better-tasting cookies. just ask her if she would be interested in going to lunch with you i'm sure she would be flattered!!. By doing this, you will actually get more insight regarding whether she likes you or she is just being polite. Additionally, it can be helpful to practice what you want to say beforehand. And yes, some people take outright rejection very badly. I am a fairly attractive, personable guy and have been asked out by several customers over the years, and its never been a problem. Sorry to hear that it didnt work out (a haunted house would have been a very cool first date!) >:(. How To Get The Man Catcher In Castle Crashers? Yeptrue creeps are spreading it around as much as they can. Yes. Just because you would find it flattering doesnt mean the service worker feels the same. I have to say, I feel bad for the pressure being put on men for the whole asking someone out thing because that was the first and ONLY time I have ever asked a guy out and I got rejected. Need help with your relationship? I know I have a weirdly strong opinion on this, but no. That way he can take or leave the indirect invitation and doesnt have to feel uncomfortable. The next day, as I entered the shop, the whole personnel (all women) grinned at me. 2. I met my husband in a bar; I met my previous boyfriend at our mutual workplace. Your interaction with the cashier is constrained by work rules (she has to be nice to you) and also social norms. The degrees of freedom available has the world just gotten that much more creepy? I've asked her out but she says shes not ready. Asking a cashier out is not always an easy prospect. Thats a pointas the OP is gauging this guys interest, she should observe how he acts with other customers. I dont think its a horrendous crime to ask someone out, I just remember wishing (as a former waitress) that people would just let me bring them their food instead of assuming were friends now because weve been interacting for 8 minutes in my place of work. Its not a situation I would want to be in and Id never want to do it to someone else. The kind of experience you've had would seem alien to most cultures I've known, except somewhere like Sweden, perhaps? I think youll only figure that out if you can talk to him outside of work. With this knowledge in mind, she's common-senseley (making up words!) :). It is often used as an expression of joy which can be used to ask someone out in a fun way! Its not so much that its every man or even most men as that its frequent enough, and WHICH man it is is totally unpredictable. How to ask out your cashier? - GirlsAskGuys I see what youre getting at, but my experience in retail and food service was that everybody doing the latter still thinks theyre doing the former. Contact the financial institution that the cashiers check was issued from to find out if its valid. Look the cashier in the eyes when talking and stand up straight as you chat. When I worked retail, a man who grabbed me from behind when I was alone in the store and I told him to get his hands off me. This is bad enough in public, but its a bit worse if youre being put in that situation at work. It puts the ball in her court, but at the same time provides some asynchronous communication so that she doesn't have to react if she doesn't want to (which is why I said 'don't ask'). It's public enough (assuming there's people around) and therefore reasonably safe, but private enough to not be embarassing. Maybe mention a place nearby that you frequent, like the coffe shop you visit before work or your gym or the bar you sometimes have happy hour with coworkers at. WebIf a cashier asks out a customer, its easier for the customer to shop at another store or time. Keep a close eye on who listens intently to what youre saying, and who just wants to hear themselves talk. I went to the same drive-thru for YEARS and had a crush on the guy who worked there. Q: What should I do if the cashier rejects my invitation? Personally I think the heres my number if you would like to talk when you are not at work approach sounds okay, although I totally understand the problem here. Casual, heres my number, and then leave it. In a bar, she could just turn around and leave, but not here. There are probably a lot of gender dynamics at play too (Im a female, I asked out a male) if the roles were reversed it may feel more awkward. Ive been pondering this exact situation, in regards to the guy at the corner store I go to. You could also do a step in between. She either says yes or no, and if no you honorably and politely take the rejection. Well, the tricky thing about asking out someone in a customer service position is that their job requires them to be nice to you. .. ask her name first. But my dog is waiting for me, and I really cant hang around. Who, granted, recognized her because she was a regular, and they had a bit of teasing banter going on which maybe had an undertone of flirting? should I take my Etsy business off my resume? I thought he was over 25ish, he though I was under 25ish. That was hilarious. Now Im wishing I were single, just so I could use Call me, you teapot vending minx as a pickup line! How to I think the difference was that while he complimented me plenty, it was never about my appearance or anything physical. I actually thought the OP might be a man. And of course, a lot of people would prefer not to field come-ons while theyre working. Remember that she has to be somewhat friendly with you, don't force her to behave friendly against her will with someone she sees as a creep. How to reinitiate conversations online with stranger taking long to answer my mail. By rejecting non-essential cookies, Reddit may still use certain cookies to ensure the proper functionality of our platform. Arrange to run in to someone as they are leaving, but asking them out in their place of employment is frankly awful. You dont know this person, they dont know you! The only reason Im torn at all is because Ive also heard the stories of people meeting their husbands/wives through these connections. Dont ask out the waitress, or other person providing you customer service in order to survive. How To Restart Mission Rdr2? I still think its creepy to approach the crush him/herself, when theyre obligated to be nice to you. Nothing high pressure, just hey call me if you want to get coffee. We hung out a few times, then both moved away from the area but were still friendly now. Thanks, Ive definitely had guys mistake friendliness for flirting so I know what you mean. For instance - southern Europe here - to me it's perfectly acceptable to engage in small talk with the cashier. (29M). the expected level of anonymity and dehumanization :-) ) it is probably culturally accepted that if the person in front of you is engaging in conversation with the cashier, you politely wait. business was business; and business with her was not interrupted for personal reasons. Just FYI: I've had male cashiers say things like "Nice to see you again", and it doesn't mean they want to go out with me, ok? A: After your date, maintain good posture by being respectful and honest with your words as well as your actions. It was my first job ever, I worked part time for a store that primarily sold video games and video game accessories. When on a date with the cashier, maintaining good posture with respect and honesty is key in having successful elevations in your relationship. Im in the school of thought that the fact OP is concerned about how it will be received probably means shes fine to move forward. Don't offer compliments, rather, try to just be friendly. Hopefully she will respond. My question is how I can ask for her number, or ask her out for coffee while she is only sitting at the checkout? Please dont. I loved the store and my job and loved that part of it was to talk about my interests with customers who shared those interests. The cashier will also talk to you. Attraction is not the result of a negotiation. How To Get Resin Conan Exiles? :( Stack Exchange network consists of 181 Q&A communities including Stack Overflow, the largest, most trusted online community for developers to learn, share their knowledge, and build their careers. If "no" seems like it would damage, hurt or invalidate you, get to healthcare and work that out. If you like cheese fries maybe you should stop by, Oh, I didnt even think about the maybe you should stop by, and thats great. Just let them do their jobs. After about 2 months of running into her regularly, you can usually try seeing if shes interested in going to a movie or something. Some points of potential special cases. If the only conversation youve ever had is the normal chitchat when he rings up your purchases. I find the other answers very unusual, which illustrates there must be some kind of cultural difference at play. 15 years ago when I worked in retail customers asked me out all the time. And there was no pressing and he never followed up when I didnt call. I need her back. However, with a bit of forethought and confidence, you can make it happen in no I think people are going a little overboard with the sexual objectification and harassment-type comments. There joined a new cashier in my local food product market. *Actually, I was a lifeguard in another life. Ugh. It will only make your But if he were really, really interested in the girl, might he not go to those places hoping to run into her? We were having a polite conversation about video games, he left the store, and then came back from his car to give me his number in case we wanted to continue the conversation. For more information, please see our But the guys who were polite and made a no pressure suggestion to grab coffee or see a movie sometime or whatever, were not doing anything wrong.